Give Your Child Responsibilities
Young children, as you well know, have many moments of feeling very grown up, very big and important. My advice to you is: Take full advantage of these moments. Get all the work you can out of your youngster. Don't ever stand in the way of a volunteer!
There are jobs within every household that children can do: helping with the dishes, washing and drying; setting the table, helping to clear off; emptying wastepaper baskets; carrying garbage to the garbage pail; carrying in bundles when you have been shopping; answering the phone; watering plants; piling up newspapers for recycling; feeding pets; doing part of the vacuuming; helping with cooking; helping with the care of a baby…
And young children have many moments when they are eager to take care of themselves: bathing themselves… drying themselves… picking out what they will wear… dressing themselves… making their beds… picking up toys and putting them away putting dirty clothes in the hamper…
Whenever your youngster feels ambitious in any of these ways, don't squelch the enthusiasm. Be very pleased, and let your child carry the ball. The trouble is - and we all fall into the trap: It is so much simpler to say "No" or to ignore all these wonderful offers of child "help." The reason why is obvious: Because child labor isn't always a "help"!
When children take on a job, they have a totally different time sense than you and I. If it is at all possible, they love to diddle and daddle and fool around and play with a job, stretching out the whole process, sometimes more than we can stand.
Another irritation: Young children tend to get most enthusiastic about jobs they really can't do! You know the expression about people whose eyes are bigger than their stomachs, and the one about people who have champagne appetites but beer pocketbooks. All youngsters are like that. They want to carry the heaviest bundle. They want to open the biggest door. I think we often under-estimate what children can do. I know children almost always over-estimate what they can do.
Still another headache: Certain kinds of jobs have a special allure and they are not always the jobs you are eager to have your child do. Young children love water jobs, for example, and gushy-mushy jobs. Cleaning the bathtub is a favorite and that sometimes turns out to be: "flooding the bathroom." Children often want to water the garden and water the bushes, and that can mean drowning every plant in sight.
Of course, in addition - I hardly have to say it! - young children are not the world's most skilled workers. When they do a job you often have to come along after them to put on the finishing touches and to give some final licks.
Child labor isn't always a great boon to you, but child labor is always a great boon for a child. Every youngster who carries some responsibilities around the house gains from the experience. The child who does some jobs feels more a part of the family - and that is very important. The child who does some jobs feels bigger, more grown up - and that is very important.
The greatest gain of all: Jobs and responsibilities give youngsters practice in standing on their own two feet, in being independent. Such self-reliance is very important or success in school. School is a child's work, school is a child's life. No one can go to school for a child. Or learn for a child. Youngsters have to live their own lives. So any pleasing experiences at home in being independent and in being responsible make a solid contribution to school success.
These are the reasons why I urge you to be very glad whenever your boy or girl wants to pitch in. I urge you to go a step further, too. Don't hesitate to "invite" your youngster - or lure your youngster - or suggest that your youngster take on some job, if the idea hasn't occurred to him or her.
Better still: Talk over the idea with your child. That's always a smart thing to do. Youngsters usually have ideas about jobs they would like to take on, once you open up the possibility to them. And nothing is better than getting their ideas, encouraging them to think, and listening very seriously to what they have to say.
I can't pass on any fail-proof tips about how to make a child's chores and responsibilities around the house always work out well. But I do know a few general guides that may be useful to you.
In general, Number One: Children are more apt to stick by jobs that occur at a fixed time, especially a time when other people at home are also working. A schedule and regularity really help.
Two: Company helps, too. Children are more apt to stick by jobs they can do with someone else, rather than with the lonely jobs where they are off by themselves.
A third point, very important: Don't forget to praise your child when a job has been well done, or done as well as a young child can do it. Praise works much better than criticism to keep children going.
Some people wonder, incidentally, if they should pay their boys and girls for the jobs they do around the house - perhaps a penny or a nickel or a dime. I think this has to be each family's decision. My own leaning - for whatever help that may be to you - is not to pay young children for the day-by-day jobs they do. But I do think even young children benefit by having a small allowance, money that is theirs just because they are in the family, money that is theirs to do with as they will.
One last point: Once your youngster takes on a job, don't feel that you have signed a Labor-Management contract that will stay in force until next year's bargaining session. No such luck! The interests and enthusiasms of children change. The changes don't come from any lack in your child's character nor are they the start of bad habits. This is simply the way young boys and girls are.
All parents - with every child and every kind of job - have to do some reminding, even insisting now and again. I wouldn't worry about that. But if you ever feel that the job has become a battle, I'd skip it. If, every time, it bolls down to your fussing and nagging to get something done, wait for a new enthusiasm to come along. One soon will. All the gains that can come through a child's taking responsibility are lost when the job becomes a hassle headache for everyone.
